Author Archive
What’s your legacy?
April 5, 2012 | 
Author When was the last time you thought about the influence you have on others? Are you leaving a positive impact? How will you be remembered – whether it’s when you leave a job or this life? Unfortunately, I had the opportunity to think about all this when my dad passed away about 5 weeks ago. Of course I had a lot of memories but I hadn’t sat down to think about his legacy until it was time to write his eulogy. 
Essence
I decided to find a single word that defined his essence and what he passed on to me. ‘Strong’ was what I settled on. He was one who pushed past obstacles and taught me to do the same. His favorite expression at one point was “Shake it off” – no matter if it was personal or physical. There was no thought of “poor me” whining. He didn’t stand it for himself or for those around him. Watching him I learned about resilience and taking personal responsibility.
Legacy
Speaking at his service was his longtime friend, a man who years ago was his Administrative Assistant. In his company that was a person with potential who could benefit from a mentor. Little did he know what he was getting into. He talked of my father putting him – a full grown man in his 30’s – on a reading program – not business books but novels just to expand his mind. Apparently it worked. Years later he became the CIO for several technology companies and wrote a business book where he acknowledged my father, saying “he believed in me and gave me opportunity to attain a higher level of professional success. He presented me with challenges and offered me priceless wisdom which helped me grow and move forward in my career.”
The most poignant talk was from my 12 year old niece. This “sophisticated tween” as I’ve dubbed her, is a very smart, compassionate and caring young lady. Teachers love her but it’s not always easy with classmates. One day last year my father told her that she was “not like those other teenagers”. Now that runs through her head and she feels better whenever she gets into an uncomfortable situation.
Playlist
Before the service, we had music playing behind the digital photo album. My son and one of my sisters spent hours putting together a playlist of songs to represent my dad. It was either his favorites or reminded us of him. During the hours it took to put it together, they and my mother spent a lot of time talking about his life and how the music fit. They found it to be extremely calming during this stressful time.
Epitaph
I can’t tell you how many business leadership classes I’ve taken where I was asked to write my own epitaph. It’s meant to help you see there’s more to life than your job – but then that’s forgotten as you work the long hours. But this was for real. My mom wanted something beyond the usual “loving husband”. It needed to represent where he had made it in his life. He had a strong will and strong career. He had pushed through many illnesses. He was a Navy man and he had sailboats most of his life. She came up with “Finally, a safe harbor.” It summed it all up – his strength got him through life and now he could finally rest.
I’ve taken this time to think of my own legacy. I have updated my mission statement to focus on living a more thoughtful and purposeful life. Stay tuned for my next blog entry on that.
Action – Think about your life.
What is your essence?
Who have you enabled to live a better life? Personally and career-wise.
What will you to be remembered for?
What are the songs of your life?
What would be your epitaph?
Posted in Career Management, Personal Branding | 
Tags: accomplishments, career management, gratitude, personal branding, personal growth, success | 
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8 Tips to Getting Things Done
Quadruple Your Productivity and Enjoy Life
I just finished Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen. It was a quick read with some clear productivity “ah-ha’s”. I have spent a lot of time trying to develop my own productivity system and wish I had found Allen’s nuggets sooner. 
Some ideas gleaned from his book that will give you a little more time to enjoy your life:
1. “What is the next task that will get me toward my desired outcome?” This is the biggest point Allen drives home. Always ask this question upon completion of a meeting or task. Just having a clearly defined and scheduled next action item will put your productivity through the roof.
2. Plan Your Week. Spend at least a half hour or an hour at the beginning (or end) of each week taking stock of what you accomplished the prior week, what you didn’t accomplish, what you learned and what your desired outcomes are for the week to come. Many people dive right into the week with no plan of what they want to accomplish. And then get frustrated when nothing gets done. Be intentional and get committed.
3. Schedule It. Things do not get done unless you schedule them. By definition in order for a task to be completed it must physically occupy some portion of your life. Reserving time on your calendar forces you to do it.
4. Schedule A Buffer. We know everything takes longer than expected and things always come up that we didn’t plan. They take time and sometimes they have to happen right away. Schedule buffer time for these. Literally block off an hour or two each day that simply says “buffer time”. When it doesn’t get filled by something urgent, you have an hour of your life back–an amazing feeling. Just don’t check email with your extra time!
5. Give Yourself Strict and Short Deadlines. This is complimentary to Schedule It. Yes, things take longer than expected, and they also will take up as much time as you have available. The time required to complete a project is directly proportional to the time you have available. In other words, if you have time to waste, you will waste it. Give yourself enough time to complete a task but not a moment more. Set these limits up in advance.
6. Don’t Check Email First Thing in the Morning. If you haven’t heard this before, you have not been listening. This is huge. No matter what you’re doing, email will immediately throw you off and suck the time and energy out of your life. Get your most important things done in the first 2-3 hours of the day. Then check some email and a little Facebook. I know I do not need to convince you on merit of this. I just need to break you from your addiction.
7. Do Your Most Important Things First. This goes with the above. Since you now already have a plan for the week (see #2), you know what’s most important for the day. Dive into those 2-3 tasks first. You will feel mountains better about the rest of the day with your major items behind you. Then there’s plenty of time to waste away on email.
8. Get a Good System to Keep Track of Your Life. Everyone does things differently and no system will be perfect. There are some amazing tools out there for free or almost free to get you started. Whatever the cost, if it gets you organized and motivates you to get things done, it’s worth the investment. And be sure all your productivity devices and tools are all synced up. Find a few fun productivity apps. A few simple favorites of mine are Sticky Notes and Evernote on my phone. It might take a while to get the right system in place but it’s empowering once you get it.
Action: Implement at least a few of these ideas. Better yet, get the book and try Allen’s full system. They will dramatically transform the way you manage your life. Then let me know what you do with all your free time!
What have you found most useful to manage your life and create time for the things you really care about?
Posted in Career Management, Personal Development | Tags: career management, personal development, personal growth, productivity | No Comments »
10 Lessons Jeremy Lin Teaches Us
If you live in the NY area like I do, you can’t help but be swept up by the newest brand in town – Jeremy Lin. Even if you aren’t a basketball fan, you know that the young Lin has caused quite a stir the past two weeks in going from benchwarmer to the new starting point guard for the New York Knicks, helping the team win 7 games in a row with two of their big stars out of action. He’s considered the world’s fastest growing athlete brand.
Jeremy Lin is not only a great NBA story but a great story about how we should all approach our work. His is a story of persistence and being ready to capitalize on your opportunities.
There was a good article in Forbes on lessons for the workplace. I’ve included the 10 lesson but I suggest you read the full article for details.
Just Lin, Baby! 10 Lessons Jeremy Lin Can Teach Us Before We Go To Work Monday Morning – Forbes
1. Believe in yourself when no one else does.
2. Seize the opportunity when it comes up.
3. Your family will always be there for you, so be there for them.
4. Find the system that works for your style.
5. Don’t overlook talent that might exist around you today on your team.
6. People will love you for being an original, not trying to be someone else.
7. Stay humble.
8. When you make others around you look good, they will love you forever.
9. Never forget about the importance of luck or fate in life.
10. Work your butt off.
Action: What lessons can you apply to your own work and family life?
To Find Happiness, Forget Passion
Seriously?! A few weeks ago there was a blog post titled “To Find Happiness, Forget About Passion” in the Harvard Business Review. It was about how the current twenty-somethings have been following their passion. We (Baby Boomers) encouraged them to do this because we didn’t get that chance. What they are discovering is following their passion does not always lead to top paying jobs. The author proposed a different frame of reference: Forget about finding your passion. Instead, focus on finding big problems.
That doesn’t quite work for us. As midlife women, we have ignored or buried our passions for way too long. We encouraged our kids to follow their bliss because we never did. I believe there’s still time to do that – at midlife, if not now, when?
So I propose a twist – find your passion and then find a big problem to solve in the area of your passion. We know happiness is not found from simply looking within. We have to do something in the world. Finding a problem we’re passionate about changes our perspective. It’s not about the self anymore. It’s about how you can be a valuable contributor.
At midlife, we have the advantage over the younger generations. Most likely our job did pay the bills – but it may not have satisfied our hearts. We have enough experience that when we discover our passion, we may even instantly know the associated big problems. If we combine our decades worth of skills, vast network of connections and resources with our newly discovered passion, we can add real value to solving big problems.
The HBR post’s closing statement said: “Happiness comes from the intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, and what the world needs. We’ve been told time and again to keep finding the first. Our schools helped developed the second. It’s time we put more thought on the third.”
I agree with his first sentence. But it’s funny how at midlife we have the order different. Our jobs helped us develop what we’re good at. Now’s the time to find our passion, apply our skills to help the world.
Do you know what you are passionate about?
Action: Find your passion. Start a list – what do you always gravitate to? What are your lost dreams? What are your values? What do you never grow tire of talking about? What do you wish you had chosen for a career? Now, what big problem is associated with it that you can help solve?
Posted in Career Reinvention, Midlife, Personal Development | Tags: midlife, midlife women, network, passion, possibilities | No Comments »
Busy, Busy Bee
What did you respond the last time you asked someone how work was? I bet I know. It’s the same thing almost everyone says – “busy”. And how many personal commitments have you broken because you’re too busy?
The response is almost programmed. No need to even think. Sadly, it’s usually said proudly and worn as a badge of honor, as if I should be impressed. Well, I’m not. I used to work with someone whose personal brand could simply be the word “busy”. That’s bad but that’s how he was known. He was always late to calls, showing no respect for others. He never apologized, just told everyone how busy he was, as if they weren’t too.
I must admit that “busy” had been my response for years. Even if my calendar has gaps, sometimes I get “busy” and totally forget appointments – like I did last week. It was embarrassing and the last straw for me. I have to shift my mindset.
How did we find ourselves in a society where busy was an almost acceptable way to be? We’ve talked of being busy for so long that we’ve forgotten that being busy was never the goal. This thinking has led us to believe busy is good…no matter what we’re busy with. Being busy is not the way we should measure our worth.
I propose a revolt against being busy
Don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging laziness or not getting things done. It’s quite the opposite. What I’m proposing is a revolt against saying you’re so busy. Busy is a state of mind – one that often causes stress, unhappiness and wasted energy.
I propose that we all take a moment to stop, recognize this unhealthy state and make the decision to no longer be “busy”. Enjoy the weight that gets lifted off your back simply by changing your focus. Perception is reality and none of us need “busy” to be that reality. I bet you’ll get even more done and have time left over to do the things you really care about.
So, I am done being busy. That is no longer my response to life. My calendar may be full but I won’t let it mean I’m busy. And that’s liberating.
How busy are you right now? Pride and satisfaction are not found in busy. Decide not to be. It doesn’t mean you don’t get things done. It just means you do them calmly and with intent. Life can never be too busy for the things that matter most to you. If you don’t have time for those, the busywork won’t matter anyway.
Action: Give it a try. This week, take the “I’m not busy challenge”. All you have to do is commit to not responding to anyone with how busy you are (even if it feels like you are totally swamped). Don’t even adjust your schedule. Just change your language. It will be harder than you think. You’ll stumble on what words to use to replace the cultural norm. Try “exciting” or “full” or “productive” or maybe “all kinds of fun things”. Then begin to act like it.
Why have a dream?
In last week’s post I talked about selecting a word that represents your vision or intention for the year. You may have dreamed a little and imagined your life throughout the year. Was it connected to your larger dream for your life and career? I know mine is.
Having a compelling vision or dream helps you get excited and motivated about your goals. It makes them more real and tangible. If you feel discouraged and your motivation lags, you can come back to the vision and be renewed in your energy to work towards your goals.
It’s important to be clear about the year you want for yourself. The mystery of the law of attraction says that all your thoughts, all images in your mind and all the feelings connected to your thoughts will later manifest as your reality. You will receive the type of energy you send out. You attract into your life whatever you give your focus to.
When we set a vivid vision with positive emotions in mind, synchronicity often follows. We find ourselves encountering the necessary opportunities to reach our vision and therefore physically bringing about our desires.
So, how will your word manifest itself?
Just the act of documenting it – writing or with pictures – has a subconscious impact and starts a process where you take action toward achieving it. If you haven’t been able to get to your word or phrase for the year, try these exercises to help you imagine your year. Let your vision help you reach your intention.
Create a Vision Board
In a previous post, I talked about Vision Boards for your big dreams. I also like making smaller boards for smaller focuses and intentions. Creating your vision in pictures removes obstacles about choosing the right words or your tendency to edit yourself. Pictures release your boundaries.
This is not a simple cut and paste activity. It’s a magical energy exercise. It’s a thought provoking activity that helps boost your ability to believe in your vision. Your emotions and energies get opened and focused. You get a clear direction of what’s important for you right now.
Action: Get a poster board or large piece of paper. Pull images from a variety of magazines or the internet – ones that call out to you and are associated with your intention for the year. React with your heart not your head. Don’t edit. Don’t force the selection or pick pictures because you “should”. Don’t worry about what they might mean. Paste them onto the page. Include words and phrases. In large letters include your word for the year. If you don’t have it yet, study your images and let a word rise up.
Create a Vision Statement
While it’s still fresh, why not write it out, in great detail. What does the word mean to you? How will you live your life or career differently? How will you feel at the end of the year? How does it fit into your bigger vision? Make it a vivid and idealized description of how you’d like to live your life throughout the year.
Action: Write quickly – for about 15 minutes. Don’t edit. Use present tense – not “I will” rather “I am”. By assuming you are already there prevents self-limiting thoughts. Describe your emotions. A strong emotional description infuses your statement with passion and makes it even more compelling, inspiring and energizing. It will inspire, energize, motivate and stimulate your creativity.
An interesting alternative is to write a letter from your future self to your current self, looking back a year later. Using the guidance above, describe your wonderful new way of being and how you got there.
More Action: If you’d like more information on the power of your vision, creating a vision board and vision statement are part of my CLEAR PATH process to help you clarify your career goals and make the transition to your next chapter with clarity and confidence. See more at www.YourNextChapterNOW.com
Posted in Career Reinvention, Creativity, Personal Development | Tags: attitude change, dream, life transition, personal development, personal growth, vision, vision board | No Comments »
Ring in the New!
Set your intention
For the last couple of years I’ve chosen a single word that sets my intention and direction for the new year. I needed a change from the usual resolutions which seemed to always be a list of things I should change. I preferred to set out with a positive intention. My intention would guide my actions to make it happen. It’s something I want to do or become.
An intention is compelling and attainable, something you want to move toward. It involves envisioning the larger picture of who you want to be and then taking the steps needed to get there. It may be a distillation of your unique values, strengths, and interests.
A single word can be powerful. The right one contains energy, images and meaning – things our hearts and souls get excited about. It feels more purposeful. There’s room for discovery along the way. However, I’ll admit it is not easy finding the right word.
My 2011 Word
In 2011, I started with the word Commit. It sounded right at the time. But then things started happening that made me feel boxed in by that word. By mid-February, it was already limiting the possibilities surrounding what was happening in my life – some good and not so good. The word Open came into my mind. It felt more authentic.
The right word let me have a good 2011. It let me graciously back down some of my plans and allowed new opportunities to happen.
- I headed to Florida more than expected to help support my mom after my dad had a stroke and a series of seizures.
- I accepted an opportunity to really stretch myself. Unfortunately that did not work out (see Fire Yourself post) but I’m still glad I gave it a shot.
- I was offered several marketing jobs – one to redesign the client experience in the growth market territory of my former company. It was creative, lucrative and allowed me strengthen my personal brand as an innovative marketing consultant.
- I was still able to grow my coaching business by adding 2 new offerings – Personal Branding and Build Your Business.
- And on a very positive note, it let me stop feeling compelled to be a “wedding planner” to my newly engaged son and just trust that they would create a lovely wedding that was authentic to them.
One of the biggest lessons I learned was the beautiful balance of letting go and saying yes to opportunities that present themselves.
Select your word
First, be aware that if this is your very first year choosing a word, be willing to be imperfect about it. This practice gets better and better each year you do it!
Your word is meant to teach you about you – including your own reactions to the things. The type of word depends on what’s happening in your world. For me, I want a word that would bring clarity to my year’s focus. This year it’s heading toward a feeling I’d like to hold throughout the year (Joy). Sometimes I aim for a verb that drives action (Open) or something positive that could be an attitude changer (Celebrate.)
Action: Ring in the New!
- Think through your year – expectations and any events you know will be happening. Write them down.
- How do you feel about them now? How would you like to feel about them?
- Write out a list of possible words that can help you focus on the feeling you’d like to have.
- How will this word change your life by the end of the year? How will it enhance your personal brand? Write out how each could help you get there.
Don’t struggle or fret about it. It may take a couple of days but one will naturally emerge. Sometimes it may even take a few words or a phrase. You’ll know when you’ve found it. It will feel right. It will be authentic to you.
Now post it everywhere, surround yourself – on your mirror, refrigerator, your office white board, make it your screen saver – just keep it in view.
Let me know your word and how it will drive your year.
Happy New Year!
Posted in Personal Branding, Personal Development | Tags: personal branding, personal development, personal growth, possibilities | No Comments »
Wring Out the Old
Here we are at the beginning of 2012. How did you feel about 2011? Was it a good year for you? Before you move forward into the new year, now is a good time to reflect on your past year.
Think of it as “wringing out” the old year – with the intent of letting it all go. OK, wring – meaning “to extract by twisting or squeezing” – might be a little drastic but it’s a nice homonym for ring – as in Ring in the New Year (next week’s blog post).
We all want to let go of disappointments and losses, but by also letting go of your past accomplishments, you create space for new things to show up in your life. You’ll be ready to move on and to take on new opportunities.
1. Start by doing a quick, gut feel assessment of 2011. Look at all the areas of your life. Think quickly, off the top of your head. Use these overarching questions to spark your reflection:
- What was the most exciting, heart-stirring thing that happened in your life and/or business this year?
- Did you make conscious choices or just let things happen?
- Did you strengthen your personal brand?
- What was your biggest learning?
- How did you stretch yourself?
2. Now take a deeper look.
- List all of your Wins, Successes and Breakthroughs
- List all of your Losses, Disappointments and Breakdowns
3. Now, choose 5-7 lessons you’ve learned from both your disappointments and your accomplishments that you want to bring forward into 2012.
Ask yourself the following questions to help uncover nuggets of learning:
- What were you most proud of accomplishing?
- Which goals were easier to meet than you thought? Which ones were more challenging? Why?
- How did you honor your values?
- What did you enjoy doing that you want to do more of?
- What do you need to stop doing or let go of?
- What do you wish you had done?
Your responses will not only help you recap all that you’ve accomplished this year, but they’ll also help pave the way for the new year.
Action:
Grab a piece of paper or your journal. Find a quiet place to sit. Allow your mind to wander. Use the questions above and just starting writing. See any themes or common threads?
Start thinking about the new year. Next week, the blog post will be about setting your intentions for 2012. Your reflections on 2011 will be your starting point.
Comment below on how you feel about your year.
Posted in Personal Branding, Personal Development | Tags: accomplishments, new year, personal branding, personal development, success | No Comments »
The Gift of Being Present
Are you enjoying this holiday season? Are you taking time to look around, see the lights and decorations? Are you being thoughtful in your gift buying? Are you taking care of yourself?
Or are you totally stressed? End of the year holiday shopping and family expectations are enough to manage without adding on work stress. That’s a formula for disaster. So many people dread this time of year. In midlife that stress takes its toll far more than on your younger self. This can be a joyous time of year.
You can choose to spend your time and energy on what brings you joy. You can make decisions based on what you want instead of what others want. I know it’s a challenge but what better time to start than during this holiday season.
Honoring yourself is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to others. Your life will be far richer when you stop to enjoy it!
Action: Take these actions right now so can you can experience a joyous holiday season.
1. Eliminate your energy drainers and your stressors. Make a quick list of your current most immediate tasks that have filled your plate. Sometimes just the act of writing a list makes it more manageable – something more tangible that you can tackle. What is distracting you from enjoying this season? List work and personal tasks.
2. Check your emotional health. What are you feeling while looking at the list? Now, breathe deeply. Fill your lungs. Let it out slowly. Look at your list again. What can be put off until next year? What can quickly be done? What can be done by others? Prioritize the rest and do them.
3. Add more joy. Put yourself at the top of your priority list. Slow down. You’re under control. Keep breathing. Be aware of your surroundings. Be present in your environment. Reawaken your feelings – let the good ones come in. Think about what you really want to do. Be sure it includes taking care of yourself. Have fun. Laugh, let those endorphins flow. Feel good again.
Give yourself the gift of being present this season. Slow down, take time for your life.
Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!
Build Your Strategic Network
How did you do with assessing your current web in the last post? Are you getting what you need from your network? If you haven’t read it, check it before going further. http://www.yournextchapternow.com/blog/2011/10/whos-in-your-web.html
There are a variety of networks we use and are part of every day. And then there is the network we should have. Having an integrated and diverse network is smart. You need the right blend to provide the right support and perspective as opportunities and situations present themselves.
However, even in midlife, women are not always confident about reaching out. It might feel superficial or unauthentic. Could be fear of rejection. You don’t feel justified asking for what seems like a favor. Maybe you just never thought to even ask.
First, realize it’s not one way. Simply by definition, a relationship is mutual. It might help if you know what value you have to offer – even if reciprocation is not now but down the road – whether with references or connections, information or a listening ear.
It’s well documented that most positions are filled through networking. You need to be sure you’re known out there. Look where you want to go and who can help you get there. Then make time for building that relationship. We’re social animals – stop eating at your desk and go to lunch or have coffee or tea (in a real cup, please, not paper).
A strategic view
Let’s think strategically about the circles of our web. Of course, there’s our personal support inner circle. We rely on them to keep us going and rejuvenate us when stressed. Do they all fill that need?
The middle circle – typical more focused on helping us in our current career and position. We help each other get our jobs done and manage our current responsibilities. Do we cultivate them beyond just getting the job done?
And the outer group – those who help us in our career and business directions and help us achieve our larger goals. They should be both internal within your company and external to help you get a different perspective. Have you nurtured this group?
Action: Build your strategic network.
1. Start with the inner circle. Quickly go through and assess each person.
- Do they bring you joy? Keep them.
- Are they an energy drain? Dump them.
- Is there someone you want to reconnect with? Do it even through email.
2. Spend more time looking at the middle and outer circles. Who has added value to your career and helped you with the following?
- Let people know who you are
- Clarify your career path
- Improve your opportunity for promotion
- Gain additional expertise
- Act as mentor when needed
- Gain access to critical projects
- Introduce you to a new field or industry
If you can’t answer yes to any, either you aren’t asking enough of them or they don’t belong in your circle.
3. Create your Strategic Network Plan.
Strategic relationships are formed with a specific purpose or goal in mind. Know your goal or understand what you need to learn. Figure out who can help and how they can help you achieve it. Learn to ask in a way that people know what you need – be specific.
For each of the people inSstep 2 that you can answer yes to and have been of value to your career. Then add new names of those you want to and need for your larger goals.
Create a networking action chart with 4 columns, titled left to right:
- Goals – put one of your goals. The same goal can be in several boxes.
- Contacts – write the name of a new contact you’d like to make or someone in your current network from the middle or outer circle – one who you answered “yes” that they add value to your career.
- Mutual Value – be thoughtful about the value you can bring to each other by cultivating a relationship.
- Action – list specific actions and date to reach out.
Now, execute your plan. Check it regularly to keep you focused. Soon it will become quite natural.
If you would like to make career transitions with clarity and confidence, see my coaching services at http://www.YourNextChapterNOW.com
Posted in Career Management, Networking | Tags: career management, midlife women, network, networking, opportunity | No Comments »